Stop Slut-Shaming season
Hello beautiful soul!
How are you doing now that spring is finally here?
We don't know about you, but at La Pimbêche, we LOVE the feeling that spring brings us every year. This little feeling of renewal, the one that makes us feel that everything is possible and that the world is ours. Ahhh dear spring! It's warm, it's soft and it's full of hope.
It’s now time to replace our winter coats and boots for our sneakers, our favorite denim jackets and our colorful accessories. The warmer weather makes us want to show off our spring glow that makes us so radiant. We feel empowered, good in our minds and in our skin and it’s now time to show it through more badass outfits and confident looks. This beautiful and powerful energy sometimes attracts predatory looks or critical eyes that try to tell us that we are too much. At La Pimbêche, we don't let other people's eyes dictate our lives and our choices! We feel ourselves and we shine! We want you to "own" your body, take agency and be confident in your style WITHOUT JUDGEMENT! We also encourage you to be inspired by people who are confident in living in a world where Empowered Women Empower Women! 😉
Shaming... What is it exactly?
Ahhh the famous Slut-Shaming issue. It is so present in our lives that we end up making ourselves believe that it is normal. Slut-shaming* is the practice of denigrating women - and nowadays sometimes men (especially from the gay community) - for acting in ways that are not within the "norms" of sexually "appropriate" behavior. These judgements, which are unfortunately often double standards, can range from criticizing people for the way they dress (too sexy, but according to whom?), the number of sexual partners they have, and even blaming victims of sexual assault and rape for their attacks. We've all heard someone says "she/he asked for it" or "she/he just had to dress properly," right?
First, where does the word "slut" comes from?
This term was used for the first time in... 1400s!!! At that time, the word was used to refer to a "messy" woman. Later in the 20th century, the word "slut" was used to refer to a woman's sexual promiscuity. The word "shaming" became popular later in the 2000s as a reference to shame. It began to be used in combination with other words (e.g., fat-shaming, body-shaming, slut-shaming).
Subsequently, the term "Slut-Shaming" gained momentum in 2011 with the Slut-Walk that took place in Toronto. This first Slut-Shaming Walk was created after a police officer gave a lecture for rape prevention at York University and told students that they could protect themselves from rape by not dressing like sluts (the exact words were "do not dress like sluts"). Wow.
So the students responded by creating the Slut-Walk, a march where they dressed "inappropriately" as they wished and held signs that identified them as "sluts". This march was to protest the idea that women's behaviour is the CAUSE of their sexual assault.
SlutWalk in 2011. Photo via Facebook.
Dress codes and double standards
Slut-Shaming has also been hyper-used throughout history in school dress codes for young girls. In the words of feminist blogger Rachel Sanoff in HelloGiggles in 2016, "Teen girls are frequently subjected to dress codes that amplify the existence of Slut-Shaming. We sexualize teenage girls and their bodies without their consent and prioritize boys' seemingly 'uncontrollable' hormones over a girl's ability to receive an education."
The term Slut-Shaming also greatly encourages double standards. It's no secret that a woman with multiple sexual partners will often be judged, pointed at, and called a "slut" (unfortunately by her fellow women as much as by other men), while a man with multiple sexual partners will often be seen as a confident man and will often even be applauded by his fellow buddies. This is not fair. Society has come a long way, but there is still so much to do!
Since 2011, the Toronto Slut-Walk has inspired Slut-Walks all over the world. Because yes, this is a global issue that affects girls, women and now even men, from one end of the planet to the other.
Let's start now to take more responsibility for our needs every day and make choices that are aligned with ourselves. If we want to win this fight for equality, we need to give ourselves a chance to grow and "own" the amazing person we are. Trust (just like consent 😉) is sexy! Sensuality is a state of mind dictated by our own beliefs about ourselves. So let's work on our limiting beliefs! Let's never forget that our bodies are perfect in all their imperfections and the more different bodies we see, the more they will become the new normal. Let's use our strengths to rise together. Let’s let our light and the light of others shine so we can empower each other instead of putting each other down. Change always starts within us. On that note, we wish you a wonderful start of spring filled with gentleness towards yourself and others!
xx The badass team of La Pimbêche